Saying Goodbye

What a hard blog this is to write, and as I do so it's been one week since the Lord called my precious Daddy home with Him. When I left NC I honestly didn't think I would be going home to say goodbye to my Daddy. I knew his health was not well at all, but I thought we would at least have a few more months to prepare for such a time. After I arrived, Daddy made it clear that things were changing in his body. Loss of appetite, the tongue thickening, etc....he knew that his time was short as he wrote such on the dry erase board Mom bought for him.  It was becoming increasingly difficult for him to swallow, speak and breathe at times. Daddy informed Mom it was time for hospice, and so the next week they came out to meet us. Robyn was such a wonderful woman, and I thank the Lord for bringing her and the others into our lives and caring for my dear Father. They did a wonderful job, but when the first nurse came to meet Daddy, Clay, I was not prepared to hear the time frame they gave us. A month and that was being liberal? I had to excuse myself from the room and just weep. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

We all had our special times to spend with Daddy, and it was especially hard to see Mom so broken hearted knowing and saying outloud that she would soon be a widow. My Mom a widow? She reminded me that the Lord takes care of the Fatherless and widow. Me Fatherless? How could this be? What good would come of this by Mom losing her husband and me losing my Father? That question is still unanswered.

Over and over Daddy stated to so many people that he was thankful for his affliction. He had instructed me to be thankful for it as well, and I admitted to him that I didn't know how to do that. I still don't. I don't know how to be thankful for my Daddy suffering and being in pain, having difficulty speaking, eating, sleeping, walking, etc. I know I should, but I do not know how. Maybe I never will be able to say those words as my Dad did. He was the most Godly man I have ever known. His intelligence with which the Lord blessed him was simply amazing, but yet all the honor and glory were to go to God alone...nothing was of himself.

I miss my Daddy, but it truly has not sunk in for me yet. I know he's gone. I know he's in heaven, and I know that he has heard those words, "well done my good and faithful servant." It just doesn't seem real even though I know this is the reality for Mom and me.

We may never know the Lord's purpose for my Daddy having cancer, but I do know that my Daddy fought so incredibly hard as well as my Mom as she cared for him. The natural treatment was working...we saw that, but as the pain grew unbearable Daddy had to have something more to relieve his pain. I never imagined I would have to watch my Daddy suffer so and be brought so low after he had been such a strong man who longed for nothing more than to glorify and honor the Lord in everything he did.

I have been blessed. The Lord gave me the best Father a girl could ever have, and I believe that with every fiber of my being. I will always be a Daddy's girl, and as the days go by without him, I will forever be grateful for him rearing me in the Word of God, for his concern, for his love, for the calls he made to say he was praying for me to do well on my tests, and for the most precious words...."I love you, Amy."

I cannot begin to thank all those who have helped my Daddy and Mom these past months and even more so these past several days. For all the visits from not just those nearby but from friends miles away, for phone calls, for cards, for letters, for food, and most importantly for the prayers offered up for Daddy and now for Mom and our family. We need them so. And a special thanks to the Dr. who helped my Daddy and Mom in trying to heal him the natural way.

I'm not sure where this blog will go. I hope to have a few updates on my school news in the next few weeks, but beyond that...I don't know.

The desire to blog about raw food, natural health, etc is just not there right now, and it may never be. Faith and Hope Abound started from having the Faith and Hope that the Lord would see fit to heal my Daddy. Such was not His will. Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.

I love you, Daddy, and I miss you terribly.

What Cancer Cannot Do

I found this poem someone else wrote (author unknown).......

WHAT CANCER CANNOT DO

Cancer is so limited....

It cannot corrode Faith

It cannot shatter Hope

It cannot cripple Love

It cannot destroy Peace

It cannot kill Friendship

It cannot suppress Memories

It cannot silence Courage

It cannot conquer the spirit

It cannot steal Eternal Life.

This past week has had so many ups and downs for Daddy and Mom. I have to say that while all these weeks since his diagnosis have been hard, this past week was harder than most since his diagnosis. I keep saying, "I don't understand!" And oh how Mom has told me that Dad has told her NOT to say that...that while we don't understand God's purpose we have to trust that He does indeed have a purpose for Daddy's cancer.

While some of these thoughts might be wrong of me, I'm going to share them anyway.....When, Lord, when will this end? When will you show mercy, Oh Lord to my dear Father, YOUR servant (as my Mom has said). What will you have them to learn from this? Why is this happening to my Daddy? Why must he suffer in pain so very much while my Mom watches and suffers sheer heartbreak watching her husband of 28 years go through this?

And then I pray for Daddy to have deliverance from the pain, for him to have a good night's rest, to be able to consume the things needed to endeavor to fight and kill this cancer completely, to not worry about his job, to not worry about my Mom and the toll this is taking on her. I pray for him to be able to do the other things necessary to fight this cancer, to have strength, energy, be able to speak....to return to preaching the Word of God (Oh, Lord how I pray for this!). I pray for him to continually lift his eyes up to the Lord, to trust in Him to heal him of this cancer, to lift his spirits when he is so very downcast, and I pray that my Daddy will not give up..that he will continue to want to fight just as hard as he can. I honestly do not think I could do what all my Daddy has done to fight this cancer.

And then I pray for my Mom. I pray the Lord give her strength to enable to do all things necessary to help Daddy in his battle along with other necessary household chores. I pray that the Lord will bless her with a good night's rest, lift her spirits when she is down and sees Daddy struggling with pain and pain when trying to consume his food or pills. I pray the Lord will enable her not to worry but to trust completely in Him as each day is a struggle for both of them. I pray for her health and the toll it is indeed taking on her emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I pray for them both together..that the Lord will grant wisdom to know what needs to be done in deciding all things with regards to Daddy's treatment. I pray for wisdom in other things that are of a private nature. I pray the Lord will continually strengthen their love for each other as the Lord has brought them into this wonderful covenant marriage. I pray He will bless this marriage for His glory and honor and that He will be pleased to grant them many, many more years together. I pray they will get to go on a vacation together...cancer free to be able to praise the Lord for His mercy and grace unto Daddy in the healing of His cancer. I pray it is so..oh how I pray.

I PRAY THIS CANCER ENDS VERY SOON and as a dear friend reminds us...that JOY WILL COME IN THE MORNING! I want to sing that song...HERE COMES THE SUN after many horrible months. I thought to myself when the sun was shining bright yesterday....how can a beautiful day be so filled with sadness, depression and a down cast spirit? I want the sun to come out for my Daddy and Mom again. I want them to be able to get out and enjoy the beauty of God's wonderful creation as they once did together.

I want to see those smiles on my parents faces like the above picture!!!! Faith and Hope Abound.

Updates & Spinach Hummus

Daddy update: Before I go any further, I'm sure many are wondering how Daddy is. Once again, I will only give brief information and save the rest for Mom to update when time allows and when Daddy and Mom are both ready to give an update. Daddy continues to be in severe pain so please pray the Lord would relieve him of this pain and that the Lord will use something new he is trying to bring comfort to him. Please continue to pray for him and Mom..that their days will be encouraging rather than discouraging, and that their eyes will continually be fixed upon the LORD alone. I cannot begin to describe how hard it is for me to be HERE instead of THERE helping them...they need help, they need phone calls, they need visits, they need encouragement!!!!! I cannot express this enough!

Allow me to quote a wonderful Doctor I know..."Our gracious Lord blessed us with an incredible self healing body that can withstand almost LIFE LONG abuse!!! All we have to do is take a little break from trying so hard to kill ourselves and do a little bit of repair. One month of super good can erase a decade of abuse. Jehovah is so good!" Daddy is having to do more than "a little bit of repair." By God's grace and mercy, we have faith that Lord will heal him.

Amy update: Anatomy & Physiology is keeping me very busy...I'm studying just about every day. I also started a part-time job at our local health food store a few weeks ago, and I absolutely love working in this store geared toward holistic health and nutrition. The Lord has answered my prayer in that regard, and I am truly blessed. I work with 2 amazing and wonderful people, and I enjoy getting up and going to this job. For my friends that I need to call and message....please understand I have a limited amount of time now. Today was actually a "free day" for me, and with the weather being absolutely gorgeous I took the time to spend it outdoors working on transplanting my seeds to larger pots and planting some other things in anticipation of Spring. I was so thankful to be able to spend today outdoors enjoying the weather the Lord blessed us with today. The day ended with driving our latest addition..a 4 wheeler, and that put a smile on my face too. I'm a country girl...can you tell?

A few weeks ago I made some Spinach Hummus, and so I will share this recipe........

3 c. sprouted chickpeas

2 handfuls of spinach

6 cloves of garlic, minced

pinch of salt

1/2 t. basil

1/4 c. tahini

3 T. olive oil

1 T. water

Juice of 1 lemon

Put all in the food processor or blender, and let her rip. It was delicious, and definitely a recipe I will be making again...soon.

You said what? Comedy is needed.

Note: The above picture shows the parts in the brain that are involved in laughter (emotion in general)....you may now proceed to read.

While talking with Mom today, we agreed that we needed some laughter. So with that in mind, I thought it would be a good time to post a few funny things I've heard and read recently. I need a break from studying to unfry my brain as I call it, and I know that reflecting on these funny (and a few scary things) might be just the thing I need to make me laugh in what has been a downer of a day with a hint of some possible good news.

So, without further ado.....these are quotes....

Funny or rather Scary #1 This one is in regards to what my BIO instructor said when talking about a scalpel. A student in the class who is majoring in surgical tech said, "Did you say scaffold?" Now, the person that I am immediately thought, "Are you serious?....This person can't be serious! What in the world does a scaffold have to do with an anatomy & physiology class?" This person was serious....very serious. The student then proceeded to ask the instructor what the difference was between a scalpel and a scaffold. I decided I want this student no where near my operating table should I ever have the need for surgery. I seriously doubt we will have to identify a scaffold in our A&P practical exam coming up next week! Imagine bringing that bad boy into an anatomy lab. Hmm.

Funny or Scary #2 While I was quietly studying before class and waiting for the instructor to arrive, I overheard a conversation between two of the students. We only have 5 students left in the class so obviously it's not that hard to overhear a discussion. A different student than mentioned in funny#1 was talking with the person mentioned in funny#1 (this person is also majoring as a surgical tech) stated, "I don't even understand why we have to have biology!" In my opinion, this one is just as scary as funny#1. Let's talk about a likely scenario. If this student becomes a surgical tech and is given instructions to prep a person's femur for surgery but instead preps a person's humerus...this is NOT ..I repeat...NOT good and NOT funny either (an inside A&P joke..you might get it?!)! This makes my head hurt.

Funny #3 occurred while I was reading something last night which states, "Got instant relief within 1 day and all pain gone within 2 days." Obviously this person does not understand the definition of instant. So very comical!

Funny #4 This is a joke I received in an email from a person I love very much....

Subject: Lipstick in Catholic School

Should have this in our School more often YOU KNOW......

According to a news report, a certain private

Catholic school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of

12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the

bathroom. That was fine provided it was of a natural or neutral skin tone,

but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the

mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man

would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally

the principal, Sister Mary, decided that something had to be done. She

called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance

man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem

for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just

imagine the yawns from the little princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, Sister Mary asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers.....

And then there are educators. THE END.

While I have digressed from my usual posts...this was needed so I can't offer an apology. I might need to refer back to this when I need a comedy break in the future. Maybe some of you will enjoy this as much as I did.

"Hey Daddy!"...and more

I was so thankful to be able to surprise my Daddy for his birthday. Mom and I were a bit concerned that he might have known I was coming because he would often pick up the phone while we were discussing details. However, we pulled it off, and the look on my Daddy's face was indeed priceless. I just stood there looking at him and soaking in the look on his face before finally saying, "Hey Daddy!!!!" That moment was very special, and I cannot put into words what it truly meant to be able to surprise him.

I arrived on Thursday, and on Saturday it was Daddy's Birthday. His family and Mom's family came and celebrated Daddy's birthday with him. The day was so wonderful, and we were so thankful that the family could be together since this has only happened this one time, and on Daddy's Birthday. To sit back and watch everyone enjoying the fellowship was wonderful, and I truly enjoyed seeing how much my dear Father enjoyed the day. A day I know I will never forget, and I'm sure my Father won't either.

So, how is Daddy doing? I won't be giving all of the details as Mom has plans to update when time allows, and hopefully that will be soon. However, I will say Daddy has been in extreme pain, low energy and many sleepless nights or very few hours of sleep at night. We are so very thankful he was able to sleep for a few hours yesterday afternoon. His body so needs the sleep and rest, and our prayers were answered for him to be able to sleep during the day yesterday. Please continue to pray for him as well as Mom. Seeing Daddy in pain is not easy, and Mom sees this day in and day out, and of course it weighs heavy on her heart. She very much needs our prayers as well, and I know they both appreciate them more than you all know.

Yesterday I took on the task of using the nori sheets Mom and Dad gave me. They don't care for the taste at all, and so I have put them to good use. After looking up a few recipes and videos, I created Nori Rolls with my own ingredients. I must admit I was rather tickled over how they turned out considering it was my first time making them properly.

My own recipe:

2 nori sheets on top of each other

Paste:

1 avocado

2 cloves of garlic

3 T. sunflower seeds

1 T. hemp oil

A few dashes of basil

Place the above in food processor, mix and add water as needed to obtain desired paste

Nori Rolls (start ingredients an inch from the edge of the nori sheet and layer according to the following:

Spinach

Avocado paste

Carrots, julienne

Mushrooms, sliced

Green onions, sliced

Sundried tomatoes, sliced (I rehydrated these and then marinated them in olive oil and basil)

Roll the nori tightly and tuck as you go to keep the nori from being loose. Add a touch of the water to the edge of the nori to seal. Videos are available on youtube to show you how to roll the nori.

The only thing missing? Wasabi sauce! I would have loved to have that as a dipping sauce...maybe soon.

And for my last bit of information.....my anatomy & physiology class is keeping me very busy!!! Our first exam (written) will be next week, and the following week we will have our first practical exam. I'm also tutoring at the college some days, so it's been very busy lately. Now that I'm done posting an update....guess what needs to be done? Studying.....so off I go.

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow

Due to a gracious invitation to ride with the "B" family on their way to visit family, I was able to visit with Daddy and Mom for a few days...I say few because the time flew by, and the visit ended way too soon for all of us. However, as one of my Grandmother's is so faithful to remind me...be thankful for the time you can spend together. I am truly thankful, and I was very happy to be able to help Mom in the kitchen some days of the visit...I only wished I could do more. Juicing, hummus, and kale chips were on the to do list, and those were achieved.

As far as Dad's health....some days are better than others and some hours are better than others. He can feel strong for a while, and quickly begin to feel weak, but thanks be unto God for the food He has provided that helps to provide Daddy with strength in an appropriate amount of time. Some evenings Daddy struggles to read for family devotions or to pray, but what a blessing it was to take turns in prayer and reading and having Daddy end the prayers and conclude with the Lord's prayer. A blessed time indeed it was for encouragement and time spent glorifying our sovereign LORD. He struggles greatly with pain in his back and sciatic nerve due to an old injury, but again we give thanks that this week that the pain is much better than it was when I was there last week. Please continue to pray for him. He has told me many times how truly grateful he is for the many prayers offered up in his behalf.

Mom is tired as one can imagine and struggled with some cold symptoms while I was there that seem to come and go. I was honored to be able to fix her my garlic water concoction, and it seemed to help her perk up after a while. Hopefully she will keep this up.....*COUGH COUGH* Mom!!! Please pray for her as well in her duties that the Lord will give her strength and relief from headaches and neck pain that wear her down at times.

While I was there, Pastor "R" made a point to come visit with us and see me, and I was so thankful for the wonderful visit with him. He is a very dear and precious man to me and to my parents as well. He has certainly endured health problems himself, and I continue to pray for the Lord's mercy to be upon him.

The three of us were able to travel to Cullman to visit with Grandma H as well as my Aunt and Uncle. I was very thankful that Daddy and Grandma could see each other since it has been quite a while since their last visit together. I think it did Daddy a lot of good to be able to get out of the house and visit with family. I certainly think it served to lift his spirits.

I was very blessed to have fellowship with the "B" family in my travels to and from Birmingham, and it was so very encouraging to have deep conversation in many areas of our Christian faith.

Tomorrow class starts back, and I will be attending night class two nights a week in an effort to study during the day and in hopes of receiving more orders for Carolina Reflections.

From the bottom of MY heart...thank you for all of you who continue to pray for my Daddy and Mom. Your prayers are so deeply appreciated, and I pray for your families as well..that the Lord will bless and keep you all.

A Lifting Up for the Downcast Pt. 2

A few days ago I finished A Lifting Up for the Downcast by William Bridge, and I have truly been blessed reading this book.

There are so many things I could post from this book, but Bridge begins talking about waiting on the Lord towards the end of the book. His words made me realize how impatient I can be in life, and how I fail miserably when I don't wait on God.

Bridge says, "If you would so trust in God as not to be discouraged whatever your condition be, then consider frequently and seriously what a blessed thing it is to wait on God and for God. Yea, what a reasonable thing it is that you should wait for Him and on Him. He hath waited on you and for your repentance. He waited on Noah for the repentance of the old world, and He waited long (1 Peter 3:20). ...and if He had not waited long, what had become of you? Yea, and He has not only waited, but He does so still, and will wait to shew mercy. Isaiah 30:18. He waits to shew mercy on them that wait for His mercy. Now shall God wait for us and for our repentance, and shall not we wait for Him and His grace?"

Bridge elaborates much more, but how true it is that we must and are commanded to wait for our sovereign God to show His mercy in His perfect timing. We want things NOW, but God is not pleased to do this oftentimes. He desires that we seek Him, trust Him, cry out to Him and are faithful to patiently wait on Him in all matters of life. I am learning to do that, and praying that the Lord will enable me to do such as well as my dear Father as he and my Mother pray for the Lord's healing of my Dad's cancer.

Mom is tired...very tired at times so please pray the Lord will give her sufficient rest both day and night as she continues to care for Daddy.

Please continue to keep Daddy in your prayers as well as my Mom. He has had some recent days where he has experienced being lightheaded, nauseated and weak. I spoke with Mom earlier through FB (I try not to call in the evenings so they can rest...easier said than done sometimes!), and Dad had taken a much needed and long nap! We were both so thrilled since we are pushing for him to rest when he needs it. Thanks be unto our gracious Lord for granting him a refreshing nap since his nights are often interrupted.

Remember this kale chip recipe I posted? Well, Daddy called me and asked me to send him the recipe because he discovered he likes them! I tried to tell him I thought he would enjoy them before, but at the time he kinda brushed me off since he thought they sounded gross...ha ha! I was so tickled and quite thrilled to know he found something he likes which is hard to do in the raw food world. Mom made him some Nacho Cheesy Kale Chips, and they suited Daddy's taste buds sufficiently!

In other news........

I am counting down the days until December 26th! Why? ALABAMA HERE I COME!!! I get to see Daddy and Mom for one week! Some friends of Mom and Dad's from GPTS who live close by have graciously offered to let me go with them on their way further south. So, after speaking with Brandon, I took them up on the offer. I'm hoping to be able to help Mom with juicing as well as fixing some things Daddy might enjoy eating. I can hardly wait!!!! The anticipation is getting the best of me, and I am thankful beyond words for the opportunity to go see them again so soon after my last visit. Plus, I am really looking forward to the fellowship with some fellow Christians on the drive!!!! Is it the 26th yet???????

I registered for my spring class (anatomy and physiology), and once again the Lord has shown His mercy to me. My scholarship covered almost all of my tuition for the spring semester. I only had to pay $12.15! I am so very thankful! Classes start January 5th, and I will be taking a night class in order to be able to tutor next semester, Lord willing. Classes will be two nights a week, and I'm very much looking forward to school starting back. I've been enjoying my painting, but I'm already missing college classes....hm, maybe I sound like someone else I know ;)!